


6 Times The Doctor Didn't Say "I Love You"

by itsalongstory



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Episode: s01e14 The Christmas Invasion, Episode: s02e01 New Earth, Episode: s02e08 The Impossible Planet, Episode: s02e09 The Satan Pit, Episode: s02e13 Doomsday, Episode: s04e13 Journey's End, F/M, oh the angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-23
Updated: 2016-04-23
Packaged: 2018-06-03 21:35:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6627370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsalongstory/pseuds/itsalongstory
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He wanted to say it. Really did. But didn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	6 Times The Doctor Didn't Say "I Love You"

**Author's Note:**

> sadly, this isn't one of those "5 times he didn't and 1 time he did" stories, because the real, actual doctor (not tentoo), never really said it, did he?

1.

“But humans decay. You wither and you die. Imagine that happening to someone you l-” He stopped. Couldn’t say it. How could he when he knew Rose didn’t feel the same way?

“What, Doctor?” He knew Rose would press for answers. She always did. Always wanted to know everything and anything there was to know, which was one of the reasons he loved her. 

Rose looked at him expectantly, though he was pretty sure she knew what he was about to tell her- just wanted to hear him say it. And truth be told, he wanted to say it. Really did. But didn’t.

 

2.

The Doctor just barely caught Rose as she fell, Cassandra no longer inhabiting her body. He pulled her up a bit so he could look at her properly.

“Hello.” She said, her voice airy and breathless, face breaking into a smile.

“Hello.” He replied, and was well aware that if he moved his face mere inches closer he could kiss her. But what if she didn’t love him as he loved her? He couldn’t take that risk. Couldn’t risk seeing the confusion in her eyes as she pulled way. Couldn’t risk her pack her bags and leave her bedroom door open, but missing all things Rose. 

He swallowed hard. Maybe he could casually squeeze the 3 Forbidden Words into the little conversation. ‘Oh Rose by the way I love you, now let’s go get chips or something shall we?’ That would never work. Rose noticed everything. She would never in a million years let that comment go unnoticed, no matter how offhandedly he put it. He wanted to say it. Really did. But didn’t.

 

3.

“Tell her…” The Doctor trailed off. Should this really be the way he announced his undeniable love for her? By message? What if she never saw him again? Would she live in regret that she never said “I love you” back? He couldn’t let Rose live in regret.

“Oh, she knows.” He said. She did know, right? How could she not? He didn't just let anyone prance on into his tardis and see all of time and space. 

‘I’m such a wimp!’ He thought to himself. ‘What if she doesn’t know and never will?’ 

They hadn’t left yet. So he opened his mouth, prepared to finally say it. He wanted to say it. Really did. But didn’t.

 

4.

The Doctor couldn’t help but grin stupidly as he turned and saw Rose enter the tardis with a matching grin on her face. He was running forward and so was she and they met in the middle, hugging each other tightly. He buried his face in her hair. He was never going to leave her. Not if he could help it. 

He could get away with whispering “I love you” over and over again into her blonde locks, couldn’t he? Maybe not. Actually, scratch that. Most definitely not. It was obvious he second guessed himself too much, but how could he not? He wanted to say it. Really did. But didn’t.

 

5.

Tears trailed down Rose’s cheeks, wind blowing her hair around her face. “I…” She trailed off, choking on a sob. “I love you.” The Doctor was rendered speechless for a moment. All this time he thought she didn’t love him back- and here she was, confessing what had been true from the start. He had to say it back. It was now or never, and he couldn’t risk Rose being heartbroken for the rest of her life.

“Quite right too.” He smiled slightly. This should be a happy moment, not a sad one. Two people confessing their love for each other. “And I suppose,” This was it. ‘Now or never.’ He chanted in his head. “If it’s my last chance to say it,” His own tears were falling now. They couldn’t be stopped. “Rose Tyler-” He could feel himself fading, being pulled away. He wanted to say it. Really did. But didn’t.

 

6.

“I said ‘Rose Tyler.’” The Doctor said simply. He couldn’t admit his feelings- not now, not here. She deserved to be with his human self, not with some Mad Man With a Box who would do nothing but hurt her in the end.

“Yeah, and how was that sentence gonna end?” Rose wanted to hear it. Of course she did.

“Does it need saying?” He mentally slapped himself. Of course it needed saying!

Before the Doctor could apologize and just SAY IT because yes, it did need saying, his human self stepped closer to her whispering something in her ear. Something the Doctor could only assume was “I love you.” 

He was already stepping backwards, couldn’t stand to see anymore. Nearly tripping over his own feet. He could practically see Donna’s heart breaking for him, sharing his grief because of her part timelord state. 

The Doctor slammed the tardis doors just as they started kissing, holding himself together for Donna’s purposes, though he wanted to scream and cry.  
He’d wanted to say it. Really did. But didn’t.


End file.
